In a lot of ways, it feels fitting that a set that calls back to the set that felt like the beginning of so many things is the end of something. As we mourn the loss of one of the most divisive, yet interesting pieces of modern Magic: the Gathering, we also have some—
The Student: You’re talking about Jace, right? Do people even really care about his arc? I thought most people thought he was a nerdy pushover that happened to have a cool girlfriend.
The Councillor: Wait, what are you doing here? And no, I’m not talking about Jace - but she is quite the plural transbian icon. I’m talking about the discontinuation of Alchemy.
The Student: She?
The Gladiator: We don’t have time for that - there are new cards!
The Councillor: -_- Oh, I see what we’re doing now. Yeah sure, whatever, do you know what the first card does?
The Gladiator: Of Course!!! Quick, Editor, put in Search for Azcanta 2 below!
The Councillor: Justin has a name, you know.
The Gladiator: Shh, let him work his magic. its cooler that way
The Nihilist. The Detective. The Guildpact. The Warden. The Soldier. The Clean Slate. The Survivor. Each piece of Jace had served its purpose—now it was the Theorist’s turn.
The Gladiator: Remnants of Beleren is a card that lets you effectively surveil every turn - but don’t let that stop you from looking deeper. Compared to some old classics, it is able to start surveilling the turn it comes down, which means you don’t need to worry if you draw it late.
The Student: What’s a spellbook? Does it have any good cards in it?
The Gladiator: Well, it’s all Jace.
The Student: All Jace?
The Gladiator: All Jace.
The Student: Even —
The Gladiator: No, not Space Beleren. But even Living Guildpact is here! Other than that, we don’t have Cunning Castaway or Multiverse Architect, either.
The Student: So it will always draw you around a 5-drop planeswalker that will give you more card advantage and then help win the game by bolstering that planeswalker to its ultimate faster?
The Councillor: Justin is already going to hate how long this will make the article vertically. Anything else we want to add about this card?
The Wolf: It combos with Paradox Engine.
The Councillor: MOVING ON
The Gladiator: What are—
The Wolf: We already did that bit, now it’s time for combo. Get on your blinker shades and play like it’s 2018, because we’re crashing Arena
The Student: My Thinkpad already runs warm…
The Wolf: Well we’re cranking up the heat with our next card.
The Theorist is very careful with which students he selects to assist him, and even more careful about what he allows them to change.
The Councillor: The more reserved among us might want to remind you that this is a 4-mana mana rock that doesn’t do anything without other cards.
The Gladiator: Or, you could be cool and realize that this enables Oracle of the Alpha like no other! Oooh, or Jet Collector!
The Wolf: Goblin Glasswright Displacer Kitten
The Gladiator and Councillor: oh—
The Wolf: Blazing Firesinger works too.
The Councillor: but—
The Gladiator: it’s not that—
The Wolf: Codie, Ravenous Codex even gives you redundancy if you’re going deep.
The Student: But isn’t it 4 mana?
The Wolf: Yeah, but what other card lets Ragavan take 2 Barrowgoyfs off of your opponent’s library. And for the real sickos out there, Chitinous Crawler loves this card if I understand the wording correctly. Since the copies aren’t from your starting deck, really there has to be some sort of combo this enables. Maybe some sort of Glorifying Verse Enchantress deck since you draw 2 every time you Repartee.
The Councillor: I know we’re just like this sometimes, but it is really this jumbled?
The Gladiator: Have you looked at Student’s 4C Blood list?
The Student: I swear that Ruinous Ultimatum won me games. The deck was great, you would curve out amazingly. And nobody even remembers that Bant midrange game anymore.
The Gladiator: You mean the Great-
The Councillor: Shhhhhhhh, we keep that hidden away, nobody must watch that. Now that you’ve seen the cards and an exploration of the Echoverse — as Alchemy echoes in our hearts, I once again thank you for being here, queer and I want to thank Wizards of the Coast for bringing us these cards.
The Councillor: See
The Wolf: you
The Gladiator: later
The Student: Gamers